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road trip ramblings

11/19/2016

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It's a sunny Saturday as we cruise across South Dakota. Coffee in hand and Bluetooth being used at full capacity. We are on leg two of our road trip out to Montana. Last night we made it to Sioux Falls, after working a normal work day.

Barely. We barely made it. So much ice on the interstate, so many semi trucks and cars in the ditches, for hours on end. I wish I had pictures of the snow but I was too tense and focused on making sure all the people in the ditch looked like they were okay. We had friends & family praying us along and I'm grateful.

We had a lovely quick morning chat with coffee and cream cheese apple coffee cake with Justin's brother & sister-in-law, before hitting the road again. We may have also made a quick Target run and may have walked out with (way) more than we ran in to grab. Why are fall & winter clothes so cute?!

And now, after an hour or so of very crummy roads, we have clear interstate and can drive 70mph,  enjoying endless blue sky and white clouds, geese in ponds, wide open spaces, and disappearing snow. And I have this urge to write and scribble and I don't really know what about...
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I've been contemplating very seriously lately how very short this life on earth is. It's sobering and sometimes downright depressing. But mostly it's just a daily, healthy realization that our days are numbered and tomorrow isn't promised.

It means I've been trying to spend more time investing in the people I love, trying to organize and simplify life more, so that there is more free space and time for relationship and ministry.

I've been purposefully enjoying wrapping Christmas presents, the glow of burning candles, the moments curled up on the love seat with my bearded husband, the laughter with family & friends, the fresh baked food being pulled from the oven. 

There is still so far to go and so much work and discipline I need to do (just ask Justin). I still stress over unimportant things, get angry about small stuff, and freak out at stupid things. Often the things I'm focused on, the things I'm working to accomplish, the plans I'm making, and the work I'm doing is good. But I get too uptight and stressed and perfectionist about it all. 

My standards and expectations are too high, and it hurts not only me, but my loving husband. Those high expectations unfortunately carry over into my expectations for him and it's unfair and damaging. In our short seven months of marriage, I've learned that one of the very greatest threats of a happy & healthy marriage are differing expectations. Not all of our expectations are "wrong", but, when they're (very) different from the expectations (or lack thereof) of our spouse, it's not pretty. In fact, it can be downright ugly.

It's painful and there's fighting and yelling and silent treatment and tears. By God's grace, there's also repentance, forgiveness requested and forgiveness given, hugs and kisses, and getting back up and trying again, hand in hand, with God and His Word as our guide.

There are moments when I pause and just stare at my husband and thank God from the bottom of my heart for giving me such a gift. I plead with Him for His protection and care over the man I love, I beg for grace, humility, and love to be a godly wife. 

There are moments when we are belly laughing over something ridiculous together and I want to freeze time.

There are moments when I reach for my husbands hand as we cruise down the highway and still can't believe I'm married to him.

I was not planning to write anything about marriage today but it's one of those days that I honestly didn't know what I needed/wanted to scribble about. The urge to pen words and form thoughts out of my heart and mind and ponderings is something that burns deep inside of me, even when I have no plan for what shape those sentences and paragraphs will take.
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As we continue to cruise across the wide, endless, open, ginormous spaces of South Dakota, I'm grateful that God created this world, that He placed us in it, that He gives us so many beautiful gifts to love and enjoy, that He is merciful and kind and keeps this world spinning and getting better and bringing glory to Himself and pleasure to His people.

​Happy weekend, loves.
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