The house is awfully dark for only being 6:00pm in the middle of summer. Lightening is flashing and thunder is rumbling and raindrops are pattering on the windows. I’m sitting at the dining room table reflecting on all the past several months have held and struggling to put the ripples of my heart into written words.

If there would be one word to describe 2016, it’d be growth. I debated between using the word change or the word growth but they go hand in hand. With change, comes growth. And God has definitely been growing me over the past (almost) eight months. (How is it already the end of July?!)

Here are a few highlights of the bigger changes...

I moved (basically twice but that’s another story).

Family relocated over a thousand miles away.

I got married.

I changed my last name.

I got a new job.

I learned new financial habits.

I tried new treatments for my hands.

I started a new diet and lifestyle.

I started working from home again.

I started learning how to slow down and not overbook the calendar.


There’s a reason my head spins and I can’t fall asleep some nights.

Over the next several weeks, I’m hoping to dive deeper into some of these changes. I’m excited to share about the healthier lifestyle and working from home again. I’m a little scared to attempt writing about marriage. I’m thrilled to write about learning to live more slowly and intentionally. (Disclaimer: I’m only in the baby stages of every topic I just listed.) I’m dreaming about a new blog look and potentially a new blog name.
 
Tonight I’m focusing on the words growth and grow.  Here is a definition I found for grow: “to spring up and develop to maturity”. This is what God commands us to do and helps us to do, often with crazy changes in circumstances or difficult trials or (usually) both of those things at the same time.

In order for change to product growth, we need to allow it to, we need to be teachable, and we need to not shrink back in fear.

Change is scary. I don’t like it. I like the comfortable and the normal. Slowly God is teaching me and giving me the grace to push through and past the fear, not run away from it.

Marriage is scary. Building a business from home is scary. Major lifestyle changes are scary.

I need to embrace the scary and learn from it and grow into the best that I can be, while daily seeking the grace, wisdom, and strength of the Lord.

Day by day, I’m learning to face it head on and not flee.
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One decision at a time.

“So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God.” Col. 1:10

“And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, as we do for you.” 1 Thes. 3:12

“Therefore let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity…” Heb. 6:1
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“So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. 2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Pet. 2:1-3

“For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, 6 and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, 7 and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. 8 For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 2 Pet. 1:5-8

For several days now, I've been pondering on a blog post and waiting for the time, words, and improved pain in my hands, so that I could sit down and start tapping the keys on my MacBook. On this Thursday morning, I have a half hour before I need to leave for work and there's a whole list of household work I'd love to cross things off of but my soul needs writing more than it needs a clean house (although it needs a fairly clean house too, just ask my husband). My delicious and nutritious daily protein shake is next to me and the air conditioner is blasting and the smell of essential oils is making me happy.

As many of you know, I had my first appointment and treatments on both of my hands/wrists in the Twin Cities last week. I've had incredible amounts of all kinds of pain over the past decade so I wasn't all too concerned about the pain of the injections. Good heavens, was I wrong to think it'd be no big deal. It was excruciating beyond anything I imagined. The week since that appointment has been incredibly painful and frustrating and discouraging but we continue to trust that God will use these injections to bring healing, even if it is a painful process. We obviously were hoping to see improvement after the first treatment but that so far has not been the case. So we wait and pray and trust and press on.

The discussion with the doctor who does these treatments was good and encompassed not just my joint problems but also the Crohn's disease. He reaffirmed what I already knew about the major drugs I'm on for the Crohn's and how they negatively affect the rest of my body, especially my joints. It was encouraging to hear about the alternative medicine options out there, some that I'm already familiar with, some that are new to me, but it is also overwhelming and discouraging because insurance doesn't cover alternative medicine.  

And again, my husband and I have much to pray on, think through, research, and discuss. It is the story of our lives in so many areas right now and I praise God for how He uses these things to strengthen our relationship with Him and with each other. It's far from pretty or perfect and we screw it up all the time and continually have to repent and ask forgiveness and get back up. I'm so thankful to be married to somebody who is really great at making sure we laugh and have fun amidst the tears and trials. He's pretty fantastic.

Daily I'm reminded of how much we have to be grateful for. Twice in the past few weeks there have been instances that, had they timed out differently, one or both of us could've died in an accident. Those especially have caused me to give thanks for each day of life we have together and to do my best to not take it for granted. And then there are the endless and continual daily blessings and gifts that completely overwhelm my heart with gratitude...

...walking the Mall of America, while I had no ability to use my hands after the injections

...eating some of the best food we've ever had at Red Cow after walking the Mall of America

...long evenings with siblings eating and talking and playing games

...camping with just my husband and myself for a few days

...a sweet visit with friends I hadn't seen in years, exchanging stories of what God has done

...introducing Justin to one of my favorite TV shows

...eating the best homemade ice cream and homemade waffle cones ever

...playing ball with my pooch

...cookouts with friends

...bonfires and s'mores and pudgy pies

...ice packs

...driving into the sunset (literally)

...coffee cake on Sundays

...herbs and tomato plants flourishing in my potted garden on the deck

...fresh coffee beans from the local coffee guy

​...and on and on the list could go but I have to leave for work and there are some photos below that speak more words than I could say anyway. Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!