Ah. The weeks are extra long right now, even though my "work weeks" are the shortest they've been in about seven years.
Hauling around a baby girl in my belly ,who is hanging very low for only being 28 weeks, is exhausting.
(Plus all the other pregnancy / health issues but that's not what this post is about.)
This particular Friday has gone nothing like planned. But I'm rolling with the punches and smiling through it all.
That's a pretty big win for me. Just ask my hubby.... I struggle to be a "roll with the punches" kinda gal.
Best part of the changed plans and appointments, is being "stuck" in the town 20 minutes away, where we run errands. I'm in the middle of a few hours to run to Target and then get lunch at a the coolest local coffee & lunch spot. My chicken avocado ciabatta sandwich is being made as I type and this hungry momma can't wait.
This morning, as one plan after another fell apart, I made the conscious choice to let go of "my" plans for the day.
The seven loads of laundry can wait to be folded.
The entire house that needs scrubbing can wait until next week.
The clothing organization project won't go anywhere.
Justin and I were talking last night about how temporary this life is; how temporary our beautiful in-process home is; how an "imperfectly colored" recliner doesn't matter; how driving an old beater care means nothing, in light of eternity.
It wasn't a morbid conversation, it was a healthy discussion on not getting so caught up in the things of this world.
Because, dang, it is so easy to lose sight of an eternal perspective.
As I work daily to prepare our home, freezers, etc. for the arrival of our baby girl, may I not forget to prepare my heart to be a mother.
As we spend weekends and hard-earned overtime money to fix up our house, may we not forget to fix up our hearts in preparation for an eternity spent after we breathe our last.
As I work hard to plan & prepare healthy food for our bodies, may i not forget that these bodies are only temporary.
I sit hear surrounded by the chatter of a lovely cafe. Upbeat chill music plays in the background. A glass of cucumber & citrus infused water to the right of my MacBook.
My delicious looking chicken-avocado-bacon-spinach-tomato-onion-homemade-avocado-ranch-dressing-on-toasted-ciabatta-bun sandwich just arrived, along with salty kettle chips & a pickle spear. I'm in pregnant momma food heaven.
And while I ponder on eternity, I'm overwhelmingly grateful for the gifts of today, in this short life.
This life is so painful. It's filled with endless trials. Even as I sit here thoroughly enjoying eating & writing, I pray specifically that the food won't cause another bowel obstruction and that the lighting won't trigger another massive migraine. I pray for energy & strength after another difficult and pain-filled night. I pray that God will uphold my health enough to enjoy a lovely baby shower for Emery tomorrow, that my beautiful mom & bestie & little sisters are hosting.
Beauty and pain.
Good and bad.
Fun and horror.
Laughter and tears.
This is the dance of this temporary life. Little glimpses of heaven & eternal joy, mixed in with the moaning and groaning of living in a fallen world.
I am grateful for all of it. Do I *feel* grateful every moment of everyday? No. Definitely not. An "attitude of gratitude" has become an overused cliche but i do believe it is a biblical concept.
God uses every single detail of this life for His glory and our eternal good. Who am I to think I know better? Who am I to not give Him thanks and praise, no matter what may come my way?
I say this with a bit of fear and trepidation. God has tested me on this before, is testing me on it now, and I know will test me on it in the future.
There are times I am gripped with fear, when I wonder what God will ask of me in the future. In those times, I remind myself of His faithfulness so far. His words of promise, comfort, and strength, which have proven so true over the past nearly three decades of my life, will not change. They will not fade away.
And that, my friend, increases my joy and faith. It helps me enjoy the gifts of today, without fear of tomorrow. It helps me endure the pain, knowing there will be a day with no more pain.
I am grateful for today.
I look forward to tomorrow.
And I eagerly await our forever home with Jesus.