In the end, less than twenty-four hours before the concert, my years-long dream of seeing Casting Crowns live won. And all I have to say is thank you, Jesus, that it did.
For weeks (months?) I've been dry spiritually. Lies from the devil and from my own mind have been drowning me.
I'm not good enough.
My patterns of failure will never change.
I'll never have the discipline to be in the Word every day or actually finish a Bible study.
My physical pain and limitations are insurmountable.
I have to work harder and longer so I can make ends meet (never mind what that does to my physical and relational health).
No one can really love me for who and all that I am.
The lies go on and on and on and on.
God isn't waiting for me to mess up.
He's not sitting on the shore watching me try to manage my "boat" of life with a list of all my failures and shortcomings, waiting to chew me out.
He's not waiting for a moment of my attention so He can tell me everything to go work on before I come back to Him.
He's sitting on the shore inviting me to come and sit and fellowship and share croissants and a cup of coffee.
He's written me scriptures that tell me I can do all things through Him.
His blood has washed away every single one of my failures.
His plans and dreams for my life are beyond anything I could ever imagine.
He lived and bled and died and rose and ascended so that I could not only survive but thrive.
He wrote a whole Book which, if I spend time in it consistently, will quench my thirst forever and calm every fear.
He is good.